I’m not going to tell you to push more, do more, plan more, schedule more. Willpower more. Nope. Not even close. And the answer isn’t to buy one more planner either for all my planner addicts. (Takes one to know one.) My One Thing isn’t even to hire a coach.
I used to be one of those workaholics that believed sleep was for sissies and prided myself on working 60+ hours a week. Until I broke. A divorce was my catalyst to getting real and taking care of myself.
It wasn’t until I was forced to face myself that I started caring about how I felt.
Gradually I learned how to love and care for myself. I learned how to make time for sleep. I started to (gasp) do things that felt good to me just for the sake of feeling good. A whole new world opened up once I cared, really cared about how I felt each day.
This set me off on a journey. The journey has culminated in me getting no nonsense, 100% serious on self-care, or what I call:
That is really the reason to do self-care. To do something you adore for how it makes you feel. When I give myself activities and attention I love something happens inside of me. I feel joy. I feel gratitude. I feel the love that I am as a spiritual being here.
When I first started making time for self-care I felt guilty. Shouldn’t I be suffering or struggling somehow to gain more influence, advance in my career or make more money? I did it anyway. What I never expected happened.
My alignment was the number one key to more productivity, more successes and more wins in my life.
Once I got good at this the flood gates just opened up for me. I started having amazing energy, ideas that were serendipitous and many miraculous coincidences fell into my lap. My days were full of energy, joy and flow. I loved every minute of producing because it came from a place of joy, not force.
Flow, not push.
My personal beliefs are that this flow and inspiration comes from a source greater than us. And when we have one of these great ideas or inspiration it is not only a great idea for us personally, but it is aligned with the universe and the direction of all of us as one. The reason it feels so amazing is that we are in sync with all that IS. We are moving in unison with the best outcome for all of us as oneness. The power that comes from that level is a million times more effective and more FUN than me pushing my little cart of rocks up the hill again.
It is like the difference between walking across the living room to switch on the light vs. having Alexa able to read your mind. When your mind calls it, the light comes on. The difference between using your physicality to make these happen and your mind and energy to call things into existence.
Step One: Brainstorm and Experiment.
What feels good to you? Often, we’ve been running and pushing so hard and so long we’ve lost touch with ourselves. You may not even enjoy the things you currently do for relaxation or to unwind. In my past life for example there were many social events, along with too much booze and elaborate dinners. Once I reconnected with myself I discovered I didn’t enjoy those at all.
Step Two: Commit and Schedule.
Set a date with yourself to try out an activity or time just for you. This is nonnegotiable time. When you put it on your calendar it’s the same as a meeting with a client or your boss. No canceling. When you keep your appointments with yourself you are building a relationship with yourself. You know how you feel about that flaky friend that always cancels or is an hour late all the time? Don’t be that friend to yourself.
Step Three: Change Your Perspective and Boundaries Baby.
Prepare yourself for your ego mind to jump in and start telling you about all the ‘work’ you should be doing. This is normal. You are trying something new and it is threatening to your ego’s current reason for being, which is sometimes to shout mean things inside your mind. You are changing things up, doing them differently. Instead of making a To-Do List today, make a To-Feel List instead. How do you want to feel this week? What do you want to experience?
Here is also where you may face resistance from others. Your boss or team may question why you are suddenly gone for a lunch break. Or you may get grief from your family or friends on why you are taking a retreat day for yourself. They aren’t you. This isn’t their journey. You are leading your life.
Step Four: Tune in To What Makes Your Heart Sing.
Once you have given yourself over to these self-love submersions, how do you feel? Before, during and after your self-love experience ask yourself “How do I feel?” This may take you a while to get in touch with again if you’ve been disconnected from your inner self for a while. Let yourself feel what you feel. What you are waiting for is that feeling that makes you feel amazed to be alive. That warm feeling of gratitude that fills your entire being. That feeling. Once that comes to you treat it like a Pinterest board. Pull it in. Soak it in. Live inside it. Linger in it. Draw it out. Daydream about it later. Pull all the goodies out of it. Hold it in your mind the way a child grips a popsicle in the summer.
Step Five: Rinse and Repeat.
Once you’ve found a handful of these self-love experiences that make you feel so alive you could fly – create these as the cornerstone to your schedule. That flying high vibe feeling is what brings you closer to your destiny and your desires like you were gifted with teleportation. The Law of Attraction starts working in your favor once you commit, really commit to whatever it takes to feel good. The better you feel, the higher the vibe. The higher the vibe the more revelations you have that lead you on the path of least resistance to all you seek. That’s the thing. It doesn’t actually have to be hard. It can be easy and fun. It can feel free and light and every step can be breathtaking along the way.
So, for a new type of year, seek your joy.
Commit to finding it. Let no one stand in your path. This is not selfish. This is the Law of Love, and it starts with how you love yourself. If you will only love yourself so hard and so good and so often you’ll never look back. Your light will shine so bright others will ask what you are doing different and be drawn to you. And then you can tell them how to find their light. And once we all find our light, oh the beauty, I can just imagine it. Can you?
Here is a gift for you:
My Daily Alignment checklist. The point of the Daily Alignment checklist isn’t to check it off or to complete it. The point is feed your soul with what nourishes you to bring your light to the world today. We need your light!
This guest post was brought to you by Dawn Hafner
Dawn is a Certified RTT Practitioner. (Rapid Transformation Therapy from the Marisa Peer method) She uses RTT and coaching to help clients find and release the root cause of their blocks in their subconscious and reprogram for quick life changing success. She is also the author of The Mapmaker - Your 33 Day Journey Towards Daily Presence which contains short inspirational stories combined with journaling exercises.