3 of the Most Common Decluttering Fears & What to Do About Them

Decluttering can seem daunting and often triggers certain fears that hold us back from embracing a simpler life.

In this episode of The Simple Joy Show, I delve into three of the most common decluttering fears: the anxiety of ‘what if’ and ‘just in case’ scenarios, fears rooted in scarcity, and the fixation on the unrealised potential of items.

I share ways to navigate through them, and provide practical strategies to tackle them head-on.

By confronting these fears, I aim to enable you to declutter with confidence, bringing more peace, joy, and simplicity into your life.

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Transcript

Hayley Forster [00:00:00]:

Hello and welcome back to the Simple Joy Show. Today we’re going to be diving into a topic that might be all too familiar for some of us, and that’s decluttering fears. I’m going to dissect three of the most common ones, and we’re going to look at how to face them and how we can actually turn those fears into momentum for achieving our decluttering goals.

Hayley Forster [00:03:46]:

I want to talk about decluttering fears, and we all have them. I’m sure you’ve had a pang of anxiety or worry when it comes to decluttering, and don’t worry, you’re not alone. I was there, a lot of my clients have been there. Everyone feels some form of anxiety before they start decluttering and even when they’re in the thick of it as well. So I’m going to look at some of these most common ones. There’s lots of them and I’ll try and cover a lot of them in these episodes, but I wanted to focus on the three most common ones initially and I really believe that overcoming these decluttering fears doesn’t have to be a battle. I think to tackle them directly, we need to strip them of the power that they’ve got over us.

Hayley Forster [00:04:42]:

And the real key to doing that is identification and it’s understanding what that fear is, understanding why you’re feeling like that, and then you can start to move through it. And by recognizing what feels scary about decluttering, we can then address it and devise a plan to tackle it and move forward with it. And because of that, decluttering becomes so much easier and it feels a lot less daunting, so you’re much more likely to, A, get started and B, keep going when the times get tough. So let’s dive into the first of the three most common ones, and that is the “what if” and “just in case” fears. So if you’re keeping things just in case, that is probably one of the most, if not the most common decluttering fear. I have done this loads. I sometimes find myself still slipping into it some days. It is quite a habit to get out of.

Hayley Forster [00:05:45]:

My husband’s a big one for this as well, whenever we’re looking at because my husband’s a techie guy, he works in It. Our house has got lots of techie gadgets and if we start decluttering anything that’s related to cables or gadgets or anything like that, he always says the words. But what if or we’ll just keep it just in case. And I’m sure those words have passed your mouth as well because you’re worrying that you’ll need it or you’ll want to use it someday. So keeping it just in case and I know you can’t see it but I’m doing the just in case and inverted commas, it feels safer for you. So what do you do about it? The first way to overcome this what if or just in case fear is really about you allowing yourself to think about the scenario. So let your mind walk through whatever your fear is making you think about. And is that fear, is it realistic? Has it ever happened before? Ask yourself when was the last time it happened and when was the last time you used that item? Also ask yourself really practical questions like is there something else in your home that you could use instead? You don’t specifically need that item.

Hayley Forster [00:07:01]:

If you’ve got something in the house that could do that particular job anyway, what would be the worst thing that could happen if you no longer had the item? Another question to ask yourself and if you’re keeping the item as a backup, would you actually choose it or would you find something else instead? So ask yourself these types of questions because this really will get you down into the nitty gritty of actually I probably don’t need it. And if it helps, have someone with you in the room to kind of go through these questions with you. When me and my husband are decluttering anything like Gadgety or Techie, like I mentioned before, usually I’m the prompter, the one that asks the questions, and then he starts to realize himself. Oh, actually, yeah, we probably don’t need it. We’ll get rid of it. We’ll donate it, or I’ll pass it on to my friend or something like that. And if you don’t feel as though you can do that for yourself, then just ask someone else to do it. Take these questions, pop them in a little note card and either if you find one you go through them yourself, it’s not really helping, just ask someone else.

Hayley Forster [00:08:09]:

Like can you help us through this? Because I’m really not sure whether or not I need to get rid of it. And if you’re still really worried about getting rid of something and it’s causing you a lot of anxiety to think about and that doesn’t happen often. I mean, I’ve helped a lot of people get rid of stuff and 9.5 times out of ten asking those questions, you will probably come to the realization that actually, yeah, I really do need it because there’s nothing else that needs to replace it and if I don’t have this, I’m really stuck and they’re rare to come by, et cetera. Or it might be actually yeah, I’ve got tons of these, I don’t need it and it’s free to go. But if it is causing you anxiety and it’s something that you’re worrying about that you might need in the future. Just try putting it to the test. So dedicate a little box or bag perhaps, that you’ve got and pop it in there, put it somewhere out of sight and set yourself a reminder in your phone for a date in the future. So give yourself a time frame.

Hayley Forster [00:09:11]:

I wouldn’t go as long as six months, say maybe one month, three months. And then when that reminder pops up in your phone, it’ll be a prompt saying, have you used this item yet? And if you haven’t, then you can feel more reassured that perhaps you don’t actually need it. And if you haven’t needed it, or you haven’t even thought about it, the items that are in that box, when the reminder pings on your phone, you can probably just get rid of them, knowing that you’re going to manage just fine without them, because you’ve lasted that period of time without them anyway. So this is a big one, but just take some of those questions that I mentioned earlier and talk yourself through them. Sometimes it can be an easy eliminator, but if not, try that little test of popping them in a box. But just don’t forget. Because for me, the box is kind of a last resort thing, because sometimes you can run the risk of not knowing where you’ve put that box or forgetting, or the reminder doesn’t work, or the reminder pops up in your phone and actually don’t end up doing anything with it because you’re busy. And that box just ends up in the back of a cupboard somewhere.

Hayley Forster [00:10:24]:

And then two or three years down the line, you end up in the same situation again. So try and keep the box as a last resort and just try and use those questions initially. But if it is something that you’re really struggling with, just know that there is that option there. The second big fear is scarcity fears. So this is a big source of fear and anxiety when it comes to decluttering because you might worry you won’t have enough or you won’t be safe without it. You won’t have much security, perhaps. And this is a very natural kind of human instinct to have. Having this extra stuff is going to usually make you feel more safe and more secure, even when it can be adding clutter and stress to your life.

Hayley Forster [00:11:09]:

So one of the ways that you can try to overcome these scarcity fears is really start paying attention to what you regularly use and what you regularly need in your day to day life in your home. So ask yourself, when was the last time you used it? When was the last time that you needed that item? And ask yourself, did you actually need it to feel safe and secure? Do you have enough without it? And if you notice that you tend to buy more than you need because you’ve got this sense of urgency or you’re worried that you’re going to miss out on a good deal, do take some time to reflect on that. Ask yourself where that urgency is coming from. And the majority of the time, I’ll be honest, when I talk to my clients about this, the sense of urgency that they create is completely artificial. It is completely related to things that marketeers out there. I can’t knock them too much because I’ve worked in fragrance marketing, so I know exactly how these things work and I love the industry. But a lot of the time, marketing does encourage you to buy more. So just remind yourself that there’s always going to be another sale out there, there’s always going to be other options to buy.

Hayley Forster [00:12:24]:

When you truly don’t need something. If it’s a case of you definitely need it 100% in this moment, then go ahead, go for it. But if it’s something that you’re just thinking, oh, that would be nice to have, or that would be convenient, just remind yourself of the money that you’ll be spending and the stress that may come along with it. If you buy into that sense of urgency or you buy more than you need because you’re afraid to miss out on that deal. I’m a big fan of deals and if it’s something that I use regularly and it’s going to be something that’s going to benefit me, I’m all for it. I mean, I’ve got a Costco card. I love going down to Costco and I buy a lot of things in bulk, but those things that I buy in bulk, I’ve got the space, I’ve got the location to store them and I know that they’re going to get used. It’s mainly food and drink items that we know that the family continuously eat.

Hayley Forster [00:13:19]:

And actually it’s more cost effective for us to buy at costco. And then again, if I pop to Tesco or Asda and they’ve got an offer on something that I buy regularly, I buy every week. Then again, it makes much more sense when I’ve got space in my home and I’ve got the extra cash available to afford that, that I buy it because it is more cost effective. But what I’m talking about here is buying into the feeling as though you need to buy more because it might run out, and buying more because it makes you feel more safe and secure. So just remember that when you’re getting rid of things. Have you purchased this or brought it into your life because you felt as though it made you safe and secure? And actually on a daily basis, you either forget it’s there, you’ve never looked at it in two years and you don’t really need it. In which case that sense of security and that sense of safety isn’t really there. It’s not a thing, it’s not true.

Hayley Forster [00:14:26]:

So you can talk yourself through that and just go, I felt as though this has given me some kind of security in the past of having it, but actually I don’t need it. And then that awareness will then benefit you when you come to next, go to Costco or next go to Asda, go to Tesco, and you may have those like, oh, should I buy that? And then you’ll be reminded of this. It’ll stop that impulse purchase that you sometimes find yourself falling into. And the last one I want to touch on in this episode is, I could really use that. I could make use of it, or I could fix it. And it’s really easy to get caught up seeing the potential of things that you’re going to get rid of. So again, this is something that my husband usually does, is that we’ll go, right, okay, we’ll eliminate that and pop it in a bag. And then he’s like, oh, hang on, get out of the bag.

Hayley Forster [00:15:19]:

I could actually use this for X y and Z. But actually, in truth, if you try hard enough, you’re probably likely to think of a reason to keep just about anything. But if you are ready to declutter and get things out of your home and have those benefits that you want to feel, you’ve got to be willing to be realistic about the potential use of those items that you’re getting rid of. Because if you go, oh yeah, I might do this with it, ask yourself, are you actually going to do it? Are you going to take the time, the effort, and perhaps the money it is to repair it or to make it useful for something else? How realistic is it that that item that’s been left in your home, that it might have been sat unused or perhaps broken if you haven’t used or fixed it by that time, are you ever actually going to do it? So just be honest about are you willing to spend the time, money and effort it will take to actually put it to the use that you’re thinking you might do it for? And finally, if you do choose to do that and you go, actually, that’s a fantastic idea, I don’t know why I didn’t think of that beforehand. Give yourself a deadline. So you say to yourself, okay, I’m going to do this. I’m going to keep it, I’m going to make use of it because I can and I want to and I need to. But if I haven’t used it or I haven’t repaired it by a certain date, again, pop that reminder in your calendar, in your phone, make yourself accountable for it.

Hayley Forster [00:16:58]:

And if you haven’t done it by that date, just let it go and trust that actually for you, it’s not a big enough priority for you to sort through, to fix, to get organized, to get it into place and get it into action where it needs to be. That is not a big enough priority for you to justify keeping it in your home so you can let it go without that guilt. So, as I say, there’s loads of decluttering fears out there and I’m going to try and touch on them in the next few episodes. But for me, these are the ones that probably come up more frequently than others, particularly the just in case items or OOH, what if I need to do this? Or oh, I could use it for this. Those are the ones that I constantly hear coming out of my client’s mouth and out of my own when I’ve done this in the early days and still to this day, as I say, there’s little things. And it’s just a case of reminding yourself and asking yourself these questions and being honest with yourself and being really realistic. It’s natural to face fears when we’re decluttering, but actually understanding these fears and being able to name it, I mean, there’s that phrase, isn’t it, where if you name it, you can tame it. So if you’re aware that you’ve got these fears and that they’re justifiable that they’re perfectly reasonable, they’re there for a reason, but you know what’s happening and you can talk yourself through them and process them, so you can get over that fear and get to the other side.

Hayley Forster [00:18:32]:

So it empowers you at the end of the day to make that positive change and move towards that clutter free lifestyle that we all are trying to get to. So that’s all for today’s episode. I hope it’s been useful for you. If you’ve got any questions about this topic or any ideas or thoughts or tips that have helped you. But join me next time as I continue talking about these fears and how we can get over them so you can really get started on this journey towards a clutter free, simpler life. So until then, stay joyful, stay fearless and keep decluttering. Speak soon. Thank you so much for listening.